The last great push

That titled instantly sent me into labor mode; not like work-with-your-hands labor, but like poppin'-out-a-baby labor. I think it's a fair and adequate analogy for the work done today in our house. Not only is about ready for some great new arrivals, but I seriously feel like my body has been split in two.

This is the part where I beg you all you who have actually given birth not to roll your eyes or throw things at me. Just give me my moment, okay?

We pulled out all the carpet today, complete with tack strips, moulding, and what appears to be at least ten years of accumulated dust and dirt. Thank heavens for a shop vac. I examined the kitchen floor hoping to find that I would not have to tear up linoleum, because, well, let's face it: linoleum was never meant to be removed. This fact completely vacated my mind, however, when I found not the 1/16" difference between floors I was expecting, but nearly 1/2" between the dining room and kitchen; that's not a transition I can fake with a little clever laminate laying. So I examined the situation, then set to work with my handy-dandy pry bar, and discovered that truth is eternal: LINOLEUM WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE REMOVED.

How did I discover this eternal truth? Rather than remove the old linoleum, the last owners put a new subfloor over it, then the new, and in my opinion worse, linoleum. So I didn't have to pull up the dreaded stuff, I would just have to cut it and remove the plywood. Great relief.

Until I found the staples that will forever haunt my subconscious. The upper subfloor (is that a thing?) was stapled every 1 1/2-3 inches over the entire surface. THE ENTIRE SURFACE. Well, I got all of it out but a piece that won't go until the cabinets go. Unfortunately, at least half of the staples remained in the floor. We tried pulling a few, but pulling staples that are an inch and a half long but only 1/4" wide is akin to that great biblical needle eye. So, as we retire at 12:30 am, the kitchen floor is studded with hundreds of staple heads that we'll probably just pound into the floor tomorrow. Adventure OVER.

Oh, and I electrocuted myself today. Maybe that's why I feel split in half. Hm.